Pocono News Section

From in the Shadows: One Family's Battle with Bulimia

From in the Shadows: One Family's Battle with Bulimia - Thursday, November 12, 2009 at 2:26PM EST

Reported by: Laurie Monteforte
Thursday, Nov 12, 2009 @ 02:26pm EST
JACKSON TOWNSHIP, MONROE COUNTY - Shelby Starner shot her first music video when she was just 15 years old. It's for a song from her album called "From in the Shadows."

Her father Allan Benn said, "It's a particularly beautiful song and it speaks to sense of being different." And Shelby was different. She signed a record deal when she was just 13 years old. A few years later she left her home in the Poconos and embarked on a world tour. "She started out in Hong Kong, New Zealand, Australia, pretty much worked her way back to the United States," recalled her mother Kathy Benn.

Shelby finished a second album then went home. Her family started to notice some strange eating habits. She would cut her food into small pieces and push it around on her plate. She hated to eat in front of people. She also started to lose weight, a lot of weight. At first her family thought it was normal. "But then the weight loss became a little unsettlingly apparent," said Kathy. She added,"I called my husband at work and said I found evidence that Shel's throwing up and she's really angry at me and I'm very scared."

Allan remembered, "At first I didn't believe it. I think this is common. We hear all sorts of things on television and we think 'it can't be us.'"

A doctor diagnosed Shelby with Bulimia. Allan said, "It is a mental illness that has dire physical consequences." He said it's also a mental illness that many people, including doctors and insurance companies, don't understand. He explained, "Society generally thinks of it as a choice - a choice - usually - of rich white girls."

Shelby couldn't find a local specialist. Eyewitness News also looked for one. Pocono Medical Center said Monroe County doesn't have one and a major eating disorder referral website lists only one in the entire 570 area code. Kathy sighed, "We were optionless."

Insurance providers don't allow much treatment for eating disorders so the family concealed the real reason for her many doctor visits. Kathy explained, "We were so desperate because our situation seemed to be changing so rapidly."

Shelby went to counseling several times a week for five months. She spent some time in a hospital with complications. The family tried to convince doctors to send her for inpatient care but they said no one would help. "If anything her condition worsened and her weight loss continued," said Kathy.

Shelby backed out of her recording contract to focus on her health. Allan said, "We would just hold her in our arms and tell her 'we're gonna help you. We're gonna get through this.'"

One night Kathy heard a strange sigh come from Shelby's bedroom. She ran upstairs and discovered her daughter motionless. "And her eyes were fixed on the ceiling. She was unresponsive," recalled Kathy.

Shelby was pronounced dead just before midnight on June 22nd 2003. She was 19 years old. Shelby's eating disorder caused deadly brain swelling. It cut her life and dreams short. Kathy cried, "I just wanted her to be whatever she really wanted to be." pause/cry

Her parents don't want anyone else to suffer. They founded the SHELBY Project. SHELBY stands for Support Healthy Eating Lifestyle and Body Image in Youth. Kathy said, "The sooner you intervene the more likely you are to have that person have a full recovery from the illness."

Kathy and Allan want to bring awareness of Bulimia and other eating disorders out "From in the Shadows."

Here is to an eating disorder referral website.

Some warning signs of eating disorders:
- Restricting food choices. This sometimes starts out as a socially acceptable restriction like eating vegetarian but often morphs into something dangerous.
- Skipping family meals or refusing to go out on social gatherings that involve food.
- Obsessively counting calories
- Bing eating (Look out for empty food packages and cabinets or for secret stashes of food)
- Purging (Watch for frequent trips to the bathroom after meals)

If you believe someone you know has an eating disorder you should not try to blame them or make them feel guilty. It's important to tell that person you are concerned and offer to help them find professional help.

Here is a link to the website.